


Timtervention

by starchaser22



Series: Seven Day Fic Challenge [7]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU
Genre: Gen, Prompt Challenge, Save Me, Sibling Rivalry, batfamily, so the Truth comes out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 23:25:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14031135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starchaser22/pseuds/starchaser22
Summary: Tim needs his coffee, and when he doesn’t get it, bad things happen.





	Timtervention

**Author's Note:**

> The original prompt for this was all about Jason actually being a huge nerd, and while that is a part of it, this fic somehow became...whatever it is now. 
> 
> Also, I love Tim, the Light Of My Life, but caffiene withdrawl is Real and apparently makes tim angry

To most, the Wayne Family was shrouded mystery. A set of orphans taken in by the billionaire, Bruce Wayne, who was, himself, an orphan. Considering how intelligent and successful they all were, no one could figure out how so many of them had “died.” However, this was Gotham City. Weird things happen all the time, so most people just went along with it.

Once you got ten feet under, peeking beneath the masks and vigilantism, it seemed that everything was explained. The Wayne’s became an ordinary, billionaire, superhero family.

But even normal families have secrets, and it can be argued that no one, not even Alfred Pennyworth, knows everything that happens in Wayne Manor.

———

Who on Earth thought it was a good idea to let the Kents stay at their house for a night? Yeah, their house is being painted, whatever. You’re literally Superman; paint your own damn house.

Don’t get him wrong, Tim loves their family. Not only does he adore Connor, but Jon still has that little boy innocence and charm that can make any room ten times warmer.

Of course, Tim really only likes having Jon around when it’s _not_ in the middle of the night.

That small child energy paired with a makeshift sleepover with his devilspawn best friend made for a _very_ sleepless night.

(Not that Tim slept that much anyways, but he did prefer to get a few winks in on school nights.)

Slipping on a sweatshirt, he made his way down the stairs, shooting a beeline for the kitchen.

Greeted by a domestic Superman, reading a newspaper while drinking tea out of a “World’s Best Dad” mug, Tim groaned.

His legs moved on automatic; grabbing a clean mug, pressing “go” on the coffee machine, wait two minutes for it to process, pick up his cup and move to the most dimly lit part of the kitchen. It was only once he sat down in the corner, legs crossed, and took that first, glorious, life-saving sip that he realized the mistake.

“DAMIAN!”

Making sure to stomp up the stairs, low vibrations echoing throughout floors, he barged his way into the devil spawn’s bedroom.

“Get out of my room, Drake,” he clicked his tongue, dramatically folding his arms over his chest.

“Where’s my coffee?”

“First of all, it’s not your coffee, second, why do you just assume it was me?”

“If you didn’t, then who did? Do you have a name? Because I really need to point my finger at someone here.”

Of course, perfect timing, Tim heard the door across the hall close.

Duke.

He’s awake. Early.

And his door was closed.

 _Coffee_.

“Don’t. Move.” Tim enunciated the words, fully realizing that, no matter what he said, Damian would do whatever he wanted. Turning on his heel, Red Robin briskly made his way to the other boy’s room. He knocked.

“Uh- yeah! Coming,” Duke called over some not-very-discreet clattering and shuffling. Nonetheless, he arrived at the door in mere seconds, not a hair out of place.

Tim squinted. “What are you hiding?”

Duke just shrugged, trying to make it look like he wasn’t standing strategically to block Tim’s view of his room.

Granted, Tim’s sleep-deprived mind auto-locked onto coffee. He imagined empty cups scattered on the floor, dark stains forming on the carpet. His poor, poor caffeine. (Tim knew, somewhere, in some dark corner of his mind, that there was no logical reason for Duke to hoard all the coffee in his room, but Tim was desperate.)

When Duke still didn’t respond, the two boys locked in an intense eye-contact, Tim shoved his way through. In one, swift movement, The Signal was pinned beneath Red Robin.

This is it, Tim is so ready. He’s been awake for a full twenty minutes without the glorious, lifesaving nectar, and he will dig it from Duke’s cold, dead hands if he has to-

But no, the Gods were testing him. “What the hell?”

Scrambling off his kinda-sorta-brother, Tim couldn’t help but gape at the absolute disaster that was Duke’s room. Drawers left wide open, binders falling off the desk, floor covered in what looked like baseball cards.

Tim looked at the pile of overflowing, color-coded, laminated sheets in the corner. Then he looked at Duke and realized, _hey, this has nothing to do with my coffee, so I don’t care._

As soon as the other man seemed to return to his senses, fumbling to his feet and stumbling for an explanation, Tim walked out.

He was too tired for this.

———

Later, when he asked Bruce about their coffee supply, he had simply explained that, with the Kents staying at the Manor, they had ran out. Bruce quickly assured Tim that Alfred would buy more as soon as he could.

———

Tim can’t tell what’s real anymore.

Caught in the realm between an uncaffeinated reality and two hours of sleep, sleep the lines seem to blur.

Besides, when you live in a house with a twelve year old assassin, a legally dead former crime boss, a gay ninja, the actual incarnation of literal sunshine, and Richard Grayson, everything feels like a fever dream.

The city being frozen over in July? Real. Adopting a cow to live with them domestically? Real. Having a weekly dinner with aliens? That definitely happens.

So when Damian approached Tim, raging about Jason’s “secret nerd collection,” he vowed never to speak of it again, for fear that it was all a dream and he would end up buried in a ditch somewhere.

He missed his coffee.

———

  
Tim had long given up on his coffee, but thankfully, he had actually ended up missing school, as well as most of his siblings, due to _another_ Arkham breakout.

However, even though Tim had given up on his coffee, he hadn’t given up on the caffeine, opting for a gallon of hot chocolate as a substitute.

Stretching, he made his way up the stairs, working his shoulders to try and get out some knots that had formed from sitting at the computer all day.

He really should have been surprised to see his entire family, together, sitting at the dinner table, but he is way too tired to think about that.

Jason was the first to speak. “Tim, this is a... _god_ , okay, Dick wanted to say it.”

“ _Timtervention_.” Dick grinned, fighting to contain the laughter from his own joke. Jason sighed.

Tim just glared at them. Any other day, he would have pulled up a chair and started a chain of puns with his older brother, but not today. “Why are you here?”

“Unlike these idiots,” Damian chimed in, angrily gesturing towards the aforementioned “idiots.” “I actually live here.”

Tim looked around the table. Jason, Dick, and Damian were there, staring pointedly at him, but so was Duke, looking uncomfortable as he slouched in his chair. He groaned, making to attempt to mask his annoyance. “Can I go now?”

“Wait, no,” Dick held his hand out as if he was going to physically grab Tim and hold him there. “This is important. We’re all concerned about your… caffeine addiction.”

“Not concerned as much as annoyed,” Damian corrected, folding his arms as he leaned back.

Tim glared at each of them again. “You wanna start this?” He said, even though his conscience screamed, no, you don’t wanna start this! Tim dramatically placed his mug on the wooden surface, making direct eye contact with Duke. “You should ask our newest teammate about addiction.”

Duke squinted, then his eyes blew wide as he claimed innocence. “Caffeine withdrawal, am I right?” He released a nervous chuckle.

“Okay, so you wouldn’t mind if we all just went upstairs and looked around your room? Nothing to hide? No secrets? No _baseball cards?_ ”

Duke paled.

“While not an ideal form of entertainment, I do not believe a few pieces of paper are worth this much attention.” Damian clicked his tongue, shooting his signature tiny-assassin-demon glare around the table.

“That would be true, except I wouldn’t call it a few. To put a number on it, I’d say… a few hundred? You have an exact number, Duke?”

Everyone collectively turned towards the person in question, hanging on to the moment.

“853.” Duke cringed, awaiting the inevitable chaos. However, the Batfamily was unusually quiet, shocked until Jason spoke up.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk, _Todd_ ,” Damian quipped back, extra sneer on Jason’s last name. “You probably have _way_ more books than that.”

“Um, excuse me?” Dick spoke up. “Jason has books?”

“Oh, so now you’re throwing me under the bus?” Jason yelled at the youngest Robin, flailing his arms. “Well, you’ve got secrets, too!”

“Tt, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, so you don’t mind if I tell them all about… _the shorts?_ ”

He said it as if it were the most threatening thing in the world, and to Damian, maybe it was. His eyes narrowed, a storm cloud seeming to hover over the room. “Don’t you _dare_ , Todd.”

“So does none of this concern me?” Dick popped in, looking between Jason and the provoked miniature Satan.

“I thought you _didn’t care_ if everyone knew that you _pretended_ to have lost Jon’s shorts that he lent you just so you could keep wearing them.”

At this point, Jason and Damian were too involved in their argument to pay attention to anyone else. Dick was too invested in the drama unfolding. Duke was sunk low in his chair, trying to remain unnoticed.

As for Tim? Well, he’d left long ago, surrendering the other boys to the madness unfolding.

While Wayne Manor still remains shrouded in mystery, perhaps a little more chaos couldn’t hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> remember when this prompt fic challenge thing was supposed to be seven days? how did we get here (but its over, and while it was fun, god bless)
> 
> i love damian and tim so hecking much but i feel like i portrayed them poorly here. yet im also too tired to care. yikes??
> 
> i hope you enjoyed reading!! feel free to drop me a comment


End file.
